Constructive Speech Prevents Harmful Speech

Jacob summoned his son Joseph to his deathbed to share last-minute blessings and instructions. The last agenda item was to grant Joseph’s descendants the region of Shechem in Israel (Genesis 48:22). This was the only part of Israel Jacob granted directly to his children.

Jacob explained that he was authorized to grant this region because he captured it from the Amorites with his sword and bow. The reader will recall that the prince of Shechem abducted Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, and the brothers retaliated by slaying all male inhabitants of the city.

The Torah tells us that Jacob disapproved of their zealotry. However, the Midrash relates that the neighbouring tribes attacked Jacob’s family and forced him to take up his sword and bow in defense. Jacob conquered their lands, which gave him the right to transfer this land to Joseph in recognition of all that Joseph had done for his family.

Rashi, the famed eleventh-century biblical commentator, deepens the meaning of this passage by translating the word sword as a prayer and the word bow as an entreaty. Jacob acknowledged that he did not capture these lands; G-d conquered them through Jacob. On the physical battlefield, Jacob won with superior fighting skills and weaponry—his bow and sword. On the spiritual parallel battlefield, Jacob won with G-d’s blessing, which he secured through prayer and entreaty.

Misdirected Thoughts and Speech

Jewish mystics take this to a deeper level but first an introduction. The seven nations that inhabited Israel prior to the Jews lost their rights to the Holy Land because of their sins (Leviticus 18:28). These nations committed many sins, but each focused primarily on one sin. The primary sin of the Amorites, the tribe that rose against Jacob, was lashon hara—negative, harmful speech (Rabbenu Bachye, Genesis 15:16).

Their very name, Amorite, implies this. The Hebrew word for speech is amirah, which is etymologically related to Amorite. This tells us that speech was their primary folly. Speech is good when our conversation is focused, directed, and constructive. However, aimless conversation and idle chatter often lead to gossip and slander.

This is because the mind is always at work. When we feed it constructive thoughts, it thinks good thoughts. When we stop feeding it constructive thoughts, the mind fills with unconstructive thoughts. What we think trickles into our speech. When we think constructive thoughts, we hold constructive conversations. When we sit idle and our minds fill with aimless thoughts, our discussions become casual and misdirected, leading to harmful speech.[1]

We rarely sit down deliberately to defame or mock others. It is more common that we get involved in idle conversation, and the subject comes up as if unbidden. However, we are not entirely innocent. We are guilty of emptying our minds of constructive thoughts, which leaves a vacuum. Nature abhors a vacuum; thus, the mind fills with harmful thoughts.

The Energy of Harmful Speech

The truth is even uglier. If it were just about nature filling a vacuum, our minds could fill with harmless idle thoughts. They only turn to harmful thoughts because an impure energy feeds us harmful thoughts.

There are negative, impure energies called kelipot in kabbalistic terminology. A kelipah for each sin spurs us to commit that respective sin. The kelipah energy for harmful speech is called Amorite from the cognate of Amirah. (Thus, the Amorite tribe personified the kelipah of harmful speech.) When our minds are empty of constructive thoughts, the Amorite kelipah fills us with toxic thoughts.

The Amorite kelipah only gains access to our minds when we sit idle. When we think constructively, this kelipah cannot access our minds. Thus, we control its access. We decide whether to defeat or surrender to the Amorite kelipah. Though harmful speech seems to rise as if unbidden amid misdirected conversation, we conceded to the kelipah and opened the gates.

Our sages often advocated for silence. One sage wrote that he grew up among sages and never found a better balm than silence—the more one speaks, the more one sins (Avot 1:17). Another sage wrote, “A word is worth one coin, but silence is worth two” (Megilah, p. 18a). Yet another sage declared, “Many words are the sign of a fool” (III Zohar, p. 193a). King Solomon wrote, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent” (Proverbs 17:28). From this comes the saying, “Better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

“Silence is golden,” goes the common refrain; however, our sages did not advocate complete silence, only silence from idle chatter and misguided conversation. Wise, constructive conversation is not the currency of folly but the antidote to folly. When our lips are busy offering sage advice, when our minds are occupied with constructive thoughts, the Amorite kelipah is kept at bay.

It is uncanny but true: gossip rarely “breaks out” amid constructive conversations but often amid unguided chatter. Filling our minds with constructive thoughts fills our tongues with positive words and our conversations with healthy topics. It shuts down the door to the Amorite kelipah.

My Prayer and Entreaty

This is why Jacob told Joseph he conquered the Amorites with prayers and entreaties. When the Amorites rose against Jacob’s family and made war, two parallel battles played out concurrently. On the physical plane, they fought with swords and bows. On the spiritual plane, they fought with words.

Words were the only power the Amorites had over Jacob’s pious family. The Amorite kelipah is devious and infiltrates when we let down our guard. It operates precisely when we are distracted and stop thinking. Thus, it can hold sway even over the most pious people. If the Amorites were to defeat Jacob, they would have to trip him up with the sin of harmful speech. If they could get Jacob’s family to engage in gossip, they would gain a spiritual edge over the pious family.

Jacob knew this was their strength and enjoined his family to pray and offer entreaties to G-d without letup. So long as their lips were occupied with holy words, the Amorite kelipah would not have access to their minds and tongues. Thus, Jacob told Joseph that he defeated the Amorites with his sword, bow, prayer, and entreaty. On the surface, the battle was won with weapons and battle tactics. Beneath the surface, it was won because their minds and tongues were preoccupied with prayer.

The Moral

The moral is clear. The antidote to gossip and negative speech is not refraining from harmful speech but engaging in healthy thoughts and constructive speech. If we are silent and inactive, we are vulnerable to the Amorite. If our thoughts are thoughts, our words will also be positive.[2]

[1] Hayom Yom 26 Cheshvan; Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Tumat Tzaraat 16:10.

[2] This essay is based on an essay by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, Sefer Hamaamarim 5563:1, p. 83.